Saturday, July 2, 2011

X-Men: The Last Stand (2006)

Another Superhero Movie Hits The Skids

- I am sure that, to a 14 year-old, X-Men (3): The Last Stand is one bitchin' flick - but, to me, it is lame as hell.

Now, to be fair, the film does have a couple of enjoyable aspects. First of all, the special effects are pretty well done; you cannot ask much more of your dumb superhero action flicks than to at least do that right. Also, the film has a couple of strong acting cards. As usual, Patrick Stewart rises above the riffraff and gives a good performance of Professor X. Kelsey Grammar gives a good showing as well, making the big blue "Beast" character work somehow - and, let's be honest, it's just nice to see him kicking ass and doing something other than "Frasier."

But those niceties are just the cherry on top of a steaming heap of garbage. The dialogue is pathetic, the kind that produces a bunch of unintentionally funny moments while the intentionally funny moments fall flat on their faces. The performances outside of Stewart and Grammar are all very weak - even Sir Ian McKellen cannot save face - perhaps due to the grotesque nature of the script (although Halle Berry and Shawn Ashmore are so bad that I am unable to give them a pass).

The worst aspect of the film is how it follows the cheap superhero movie-making guidelines down to the last lame detail. I am sure that this kind of movie has an audience - but I cannot count myself as part of that demographic. Like every other preteen-geared super-hero movie, the only reason that the first hour even exists in the film is to form a semi-coherent path that leads up to the inevitable but hopefully exciting last action-packed half hour, in which all the heroes and villains show off their "powers" and whatnot. All of the usual superhero trappings are here in X-Men: The Last Stand which, transcends anything positive that the film has to offer and creates what I see as just a really, really lame movie.

CBC Rating: 4/10

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