Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen (2009)

"I'm sweeing swymbols!!!!"

- I was not a big fan of the first Transformers (2007) movie, I came out of the theatre surprised as Christmas punch that I did not contemplate suicide after viewing but one would have to pay me (and pay me big money) to watch it again. I was thinking that my price would be even higher to see "Transformers 2: Rise Of The Something Something Something" after first viewing the film's trailer. Well, little brothers with no cars and a love for CGI action movies can be persuasive - off we went to see the sequel. I learned that the film is actually titled Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen (2009) and it is better than its Transformers predecessor in some ways and worse in others.

Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen finds our hero Sam Witwicky (Shia Lebeouf) off to college, leaving his girlfriend Mikaela (Megan Fox) and personal Transformer bodyguard Bumblebee back home. The plot "thickens" when weird things happen to Sam ("I'M SWEEING SWYMBOLS!!!!") and the evil Decepticons return to kidnap Sam, activate a deadly weapon, and wage war against earth. CGI action ensues, naturally.

Everybody's favorite bad director, Michael Bay is at it again! McB is neither an actor's director nor a good action director (my biggest problem with his films is that he cannot simply film great action, he needs to cut the camera angle five times in a three second action sequence). Bay's mix of horrible acting, cut>cut>cut>cut style of filming action scenes, stupid robot characters, and mindless plot lines of his previous Transformer film return in Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen.

Believe it or not, the acting in Revenge Of The Fallen is even worse than the first Transformers movie. Jon Voight is not on screen mucking things up this time, luckily, but Shia Labeouf is up to his usual standards: being aces with his annoying spastic antics. Labeouf reaches a new high in absolutely embarrassing acting in Revenge Of The Fallen, especially during the scenes that he is having a mind-freak due to some weird Transformers thingamajig. His female counterpart, Megan Fox, is equally bad. The women in the audience roll their eyes as the guys (the type that Jerry Seinfeld has labeled "mimbos" (male bimbos)) drool all over their popcorn as Fox trots out on screen in hot pants and a puppy-hugging tank-top, wielding an "I'm easy!" raspy stripper voice. She is no Vanessa Redgrave - or even Vanessa Hudgens, come to think of it - that is for sure. Previous Transformers supporters Josh Duhamel, Tyrese Gibson, Kevin Dunn, Julie White, and, surprisingly, even the great John Turturro also give another set of awful performances but the worst and most annoying actor of the film is easily Ramon Rodriguez who you wish would get squashed or blown away by some Transformer every time he is on screen.

I hated this movie - but I will give credit where credit is due: Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen does action better than the original Transformers. Not only are the action scenes simply cooler and performed on a more epic scale but McB also generously backs off of the multi-cut action scenes just a little bit so the audience is able to sit back and watch some cool action now and then.

However, there is not much to this Transformers film outside of a couple of good action scenes because of the boring plot and awful acting. All that exists is the hope that some sort of good may possibly come out of the film.... Like a peasant revolt against Michael Bay.

CBC Ratings: 4/10